“The ideal art, the noblest of art: working with the complexities of life, refusing to simplify, to "overcome" doubt.”
Joyce Carol Oates
Tuesday, 30 September 2014
Once upon a time...
...I met a guy who went by the name of 'John Ambiguo'.
I could never tell whether he was the wisest, or the most foolish man I'd ever met- and after a while I decided it really didn't matter.
You see, I used to be pretty hung up about everything.
Real tightly wound- obsessive-compulsive, neurotic, whatever you want to call it.
Everything had to be done exactly how I wanted it, otherwise I would have anxiety attacks and occasionally break things.
Black was black, and white was white.
Until I met John Ambiguo.
After which, I was never so sure about anything!
I could never tell whether he was the wisest, or the most foolish man I'd ever met- and after a while I decided it really didn't matter.
You see, I used to be pretty hung up about everything.
Real tightly wound- obsessive-compulsive, neurotic, whatever you want to call it.
Everything had to be done exactly how I wanted it, otherwise I would have anxiety attacks and occasionally break things.
Black was black, and white was white.
Until I met John Ambiguo.
After which, I was never so sure about anything!
Every day...
...I would see this guy in the park, there meditating (or so I thought).
He just looked so peaceful, when all around me was noise and movement, and inside was a swirling mass of inner turmoil.
So, I wanted some of whatever he had-
or whatever he didn't have...!
He just looked so peaceful, when all around me was noise and movement, and inside was a swirling mass of inner turmoil.
So, I wanted some of whatever he had-
or whatever he didn't have...!
One day...
...I summed up the courage to go and speak to the guy.
I composed myself, approached steadily and calmly, and said 'Excuse me,sir!'.
There was no answer, and in fact not the slightest indication the man had even heard me.
I spoke up again, this time louder- still no reaction.
So, I decided to wait.
And I waited, and waited, and...............I'm sure you get the idea.
Eventually, it was starting to get dark and a little cold.
I had just decided to leave, when the man said in a gruff voice,
'What are you waiting for, a bus?!'.
I was surprised and slightly unbalanced by the question (something I would experience over and over again with Mr.Ambiguo).
A bus?!
In the middle of a public park...?!
'No'
I nervously offered,
'I was waiting for you.'
'How do you know?'
he asked, with an odd grin.
'How do I know what?'
I answered, bewildered.
'Exactly!' he yelled enthusiastically, almost making me jump out of my sports shoes.
'Look over there, kid!'
he said, pointing off behind me.
Of course, it was the oldest trick in the book.
I looked, and then when I turned back round to where he had been,
he had gone.
I got the strange feeling however, that my wait hadn't been wasted.
I still can't explain exactly why, but I spent the next couple of years just kinda following John around,
buying him food and drink in unspoken exchange for his.........calling them 'teachings' might seem odd,
but I don't know exactly what else to call them!
I composed myself, approached steadily and calmly, and said 'Excuse me,sir!'.
There was no answer, and in fact not the slightest indication the man had even heard me.
I spoke up again, this time louder- still no reaction.
So, I decided to wait.
And I waited, and waited, and...............I'm sure you get the idea.
Eventually, it was starting to get dark and a little cold.
I had just decided to leave, when the man said in a gruff voice,
'What are you waiting for, a bus?!'.
I was surprised and slightly unbalanced by the question (something I would experience over and over again with Mr.Ambiguo).
A bus?!
In the middle of a public park...?!
'No'
I nervously offered,
'I was waiting for you.'
'How do you know?'
he asked, with an odd grin.
'How do I know what?'
I answered, bewildered.
'Exactly!' he yelled enthusiastically, almost making me jump out of my sports shoes.
'Look over there, kid!'
he said, pointing off behind me.
Of course, it was the oldest trick in the book.
I looked, and then when I turned back round to where he had been,
he had gone.
I got the strange feeling however, that my wait hadn't been wasted.
I still can't explain exactly why, but I spent the next couple of years just kinda following John around,
buying him food and drink in unspoken exchange for his.........calling them 'teachings' might seem odd,
but I don't know exactly what else to call them!
Because of that...
...I gradually came to; a) relax a great deal about things in general, b) realise that things were probably really quite unlike anything we experienced, or even could experience and c) I forgot why exactly I'd even started following the man in the first place!
I found out after a while (from comments by a park policeman, and newspaper cuttings in the library)
that Mr.Ambiguo had actually been Professor Ambiguo, some hot-shot, sought-after intellectual who had written books and conducted studies on the phenomena of cognitive dissonance and confusion.
I tried reading some of his published works, and I obviously wasn't the only one who found the implications of this stuff head-twisting, as John Ambiguo himself had eventually gone 'mad' according to society, and chosen to live in the park, with the birds and the squirrels.
He spent some time living with me, turning my flat upside-down in the process, and left his indelible mark on what wonders became of my life.
I found out after a while (from comments by a park policeman, and newspaper cuttings in the library)
that Mr.Ambiguo had actually been Professor Ambiguo, some hot-shot, sought-after intellectual who had written books and conducted studies on the phenomena of cognitive dissonance and confusion.
I tried reading some of his published works, and I obviously wasn't the only one who found the implications of this stuff head-twisting, as John Ambiguo himself had eventually gone 'mad' according to society, and chosen to live in the park, with the birds and the squirrels.
He spent some time living with me, turning my flat upside-down in the process, and left his indelible mark on what wonders became of my life.
Because of that...
...when John eventually died (they never found a body, but I know he went somewhere and probably just disappeared in a puff of smoke or something!), I was well equipped and inclined to strike out on my own as
an explorer, adventurer and travel writer.
The things I've seen-
oh, the things I've seen!
The things I've been.....
The one thing I remember reading- that I actually understood!- in John's books was that
we (humans) are largely self-limiting, being creatures of habit and scared by the doubt that originally would have represented all that existed outside the prehistoric camp-fire.
Us techno-monkeys, according to John, were bound by;
To put a slightly more sympathetic tone on that, he once left this message on my answerphone-
'Imagine there are two hominids out on the savanna, and in the distance they see a vague shape they cannot quite make out.
The first hominid thinks it may be a blueberry bush.
The second hominid says, “Wait, it could be a bear.”
The first hominid ignores the warning and runs over to the shape, while the second heads back to the cave. Sure enough, the first guy was right!
It was a blueberry bush and he returned to the cave blissful and purple faced.
The second guy goes to sleep disappointed and hungry.
This scenario plays out several more times, until one day, the first guy doesn’t return to the cave.
That day the vague shape turned out to be a bear.
So the second hominid learns it’s better to miss lunch than to be lunch.
Over time natural selection has passed along the cautious hominid’s genes, who learned that what’s bad is bad, and what is ambiguous is also bad, and anything bad ought to be avoided.
Today we’re not so much worried about bears, but our brains are wired to avoid any kind of pain.
So emotional pain is treated the same way.
And not only emotional pain, but the possibility of emotional pain.
The college student who worries about rejection so he stays in his dorm to avoid not fitting in.
The neglected wife who stays in a loveless marriage because she is afraid of being lonely.
Are things really as certain as we would like them to be?
If you stacked up all the things you were certain about and put them up against all the things you were uncertain about, which pile would be taller?
And if each pile represented the scope of your vitality, which would you prefer to live in?
But it turns out, many of us prefer the limited scope.
Even if the abundant life is rife with possibilities for adventure, passion, and love, many will give that up for some good old certainty.
Living in those predictable walls keeps the threat of danger at bay, but it can end up being a prison of our own making.'
I've lived the wisdom of those words.
I may not have the biggest car, or bank balance, or biceps.
I look and act a little odd, and don't get invited to many parties (!).
I live the life of my choice,
and the life of my dreams.
I've embraced ambiguity with both hands,
learned to trust my doubt and chase my fears.
I've followed life's road and design,
without having a clue where it would go...!
an explorer, adventurer and travel writer.
The things I've seen-
oh, the things I've seen!
The things I've been.....
The one thing I remember reading- that I actually understood!- in John's books was that
we (humans) are largely self-limiting, being creatures of habit and scared by the doubt that originally would have represented all that existed outside the prehistoric camp-fire.
Us techno-monkeys, according to John, were bound by;
- Need for categorization
- Need for certainty
- Inability to allow good and bad traits to exist in the same person
- Acceptance of attitude statements representing a white-black view of life
- A preference for familiar over unfamiliar
- Rejection of the unusual or different
- Resistance to reversal of fluctuating stimuli
- Early selection and maintenance of one solution in an ambiguous situation
- Premature closure
To put a slightly more sympathetic tone on that, he once left this message on my answerphone-
'Imagine there are two hominids out on the savanna, and in the distance they see a vague shape they cannot quite make out.
The first hominid thinks it may be a blueberry bush.
The second hominid says, “Wait, it could be a bear.”
The first hominid ignores the warning and runs over to the shape, while the second heads back to the cave. Sure enough, the first guy was right!
It was a blueberry bush and he returned to the cave blissful and purple faced.
The second guy goes to sleep disappointed and hungry.
This scenario plays out several more times, until one day, the first guy doesn’t return to the cave.
That day the vague shape turned out to be a bear.
So the second hominid learns it’s better to miss lunch than to be lunch.
Over time natural selection has passed along the cautious hominid’s genes, who learned that what’s bad is bad, and what is ambiguous is also bad, and anything bad ought to be avoided.
Today we’re not so much worried about bears, but our brains are wired to avoid any kind of pain.
So emotional pain is treated the same way.
And not only emotional pain, but the possibility of emotional pain.
The college student who worries about rejection so he stays in his dorm to avoid not fitting in.
The neglected wife who stays in a loveless marriage because she is afraid of being lonely.
Are things really as certain as we would like them to be?
If you stacked up all the things you were certain about and put them up against all the things you were uncertain about, which pile would be taller?
And if each pile represented the scope of your vitality, which would you prefer to live in?
But it turns out, many of us prefer the limited scope.
Even if the abundant life is rife with possibilities for adventure, passion, and love, many will give that up for some good old certainty.
Living in those predictable walls keeps the threat of danger at bay, but it can end up being a prison of our own making.'
I've lived the wisdom of those words.
I may not have the biggest car, or bank balance, or biceps.
I look and act a little odd, and don't get invited to many parties (!).
I live the life of my choice,
and the life of my dreams.
I've embraced ambiguity with both hands,
learned to trust my doubt and chase my fears.
I've followed life's road and design,
without having a clue where it would go...!
Until finally...
...here I am, and you can call me John Ambiguo.
There are lots of us about, if you choose to look.
Actually, maybe looking is exactly the way not to find us...?!
'The only thing I know,
is that I know nothing.'
Socrates
And they all lived ambiguously ever after.....!
Or did they?
;)
----------------------------------------------------
Certainty deadens the vitality of life. It puts it into a convenient yes or no box.
Truth vs. fiction.
Right vs. wrong.
What if these boxes were imaginary?
Really.
Imagine that those boxes dissolved, and our perceptions had to just be there suspended in nothingness, without the support of those imaginary boxes.
Now what?
It’s uncomfortable isn’t it?
We rely so heavily on those illusions, that being without them seems almost completely unfamiliar.
Have you ever struggled with a piece of information and you say, “I just don’t know what to think about all this.”
In other words, “What box does this go in?”
And until you find a place for it, you just feel unsettled; not right.
This is unfortunate.
It’s unfortunate, not because we prefer certainty, but because we need it in order to feel secure.
It’s one thing to want to be right.
It’s another thing to have to be...
------------------------------------------------------
From John Ambiguo's Book, 'Confused?! Well, think yourself lucky!'
Chapter 2
Cognitive dissonance refers to a situation involving conflicting attitudes, beliefs or behaviors.
This produces a feeling of discomfort leading to an alteration in one of the attitudes, beliefs or behaviors to reduce the discomfort and restore balance etc.
For example, when people smoke (behavior) and they know that smoking causes cancer (cognition).
Festinger's (1957) cognitive dissonance theory suggests that we have an inner drive to hold all our attitudes and beliefs in harmony and avoid disharmony (or dissonance).
Attitudes may change because of factors within the person. An important factor here is the principle of cognitive consistency, the focus of Festinger's (1957) theory of cognitive dissonance. This theory starts from the idea that we seek consistency in our beliefs and attitudes in any situation where two cognitions are inconsistent.
Leon Festinger (1957) proposed cognitive dissonance theory, which states that a powerful motive to maintain cognitive consistency can give rise to irrational and sometimes maladaptive behavior.
According to Festinger, we hold many cognitions about the world and ourselves; when they clash, a discrepancy is evoked, resulting in a state of tension known as cognitive dissonance. As the experience of dissonance is unpleasant, we are motivated to reduce or eliminate it, and achieve consonance (i.e. agreement).
Cognitive dissonance was first investigated by Leon Festinger, arising out of a participant observation study of a cult which believed that the earth was going to be destroyed by a flood, and what happened to its members — particularly the really committed ones who had given up their homes and jobs to work for the cult — when the flood did not happen.
While fringe members were more inclined to recognize that they had made fools of themselves and to "put it down to experience", committed members were more likely to re-interpret the evidence to show that they were right all along (the earth was not destroyed because of the faithfulness of the cult members).
Dissonance can be reduced in one of three ways:
First, individuals can change one or more of the attitudes, behavior, beliefs etc. so as to make the relationship between the two elements a consonant one. When one of the dissonant elements is a behavior, the individual can change or eliminate the behavior. However, this mode of dissonance reduction frequently presents problems for people, as it is often difficult for people to change well-learned behavioral responses (e.g. giving up smoking).
A second (cognitive) method of reducing dissonance is to acquire new information that outweighs the dissonant beliefs. For example, thinking smoking causes lung cancer will cause dissonance if a person smokes. However, new information such as “research has not proved definitely that smoking causes lung cancer” may reduce the dissonance.
A third way to reduce dissonance is to reduce the importance of the cognitions (i.e. beliefs, attitudes). A person could convince themself that it is better to "live for today" than to "save for tomorrow." In other words, he could tell himself that a short life filled with smoking and sensual pleasures is better than a long life devoid of such joys. In this way, he would be decreasing the importance of the dissonant cognition (smoking is bad of ones health).
-----------------------------------------------------------------
If these features below describe you,
you could well be 'John Ambiguo'! : )
There are lots of us about, if you choose to look.
Actually, maybe looking is exactly the way not to find us...?!
'The only thing I know,
is that I know nothing.'
Socrates
And they all lived ambiguously ever after.....!
Or did they?
;)
----------------------------------------------------
Certainty deadens the vitality of life. It puts it into a convenient yes or no box.
Truth vs. fiction.
Right vs. wrong.
What if these boxes were imaginary?
Really.
Imagine that those boxes dissolved, and our perceptions had to just be there suspended in nothingness, without the support of those imaginary boxes.
Now what?
It’s uncomfortable isn’t it?
We rely so heavily on those illusions, that being without them seems almost completely unfamiliar.
Have you ever struggled with a piece of information and you say, “I just don’t know what to think about all this.”
In other words, “What box does this go in?”
And until you find a place for it, you just feel unsettled; not right.
This is unfortunate.
It’s unfortunate, not because we prefer certainty, but because we need it in order to feel secure.
It’s one thing to want to be right.
It’s another thing to have to be...
------------------------------------------------------
From John Ambiguo's Book, 'Confused?! Well, think yourself lucky!'
Chapter 2
Cognitive dissonance refers to a situation involving conflicting attitudes, beliefs or behaviors.
This produces a feeling of discomfort leading to an alteration in one of the attitudes, beliefs or behaviors to reduce the discomfort and restore balance etc.
For example, when people smoke (behavior) and they know that smoking causes cancer (cognition).
Festinger's (1957) cognitive dissonance theory suggests that we have an inner drive to hold all our attitudes and beliefs in harmony and avoid disharmony (or dissonance).
Attitudes may change because of factors within the person. An important factor here is the principle of cognitive consistency, the focus of Festinger's (1957) theory of cognitive dissonance. This theory starts from the idea that we seek consistency in our beliefs and attitudes in any situation where two cognitions are inconsistent.
Leon Festinger (1957) proposed cognitive dissonance theory, which states that a powerful motive to maintain cognitive consistency can give rise to irrational and sometimes maladaptive behavior.
According to Festinger, we hold many cognitions about the world and ourselves; when they clash, a discrepancy is evoked, resulting in a state of tension known as cognitive dissonance. As the experience of dissonance is unpleasant, we are motivated to reduce or eliminate it, and achieve consonance (i.e. agreement).
Cognitive dissonance was first investigated by Leon Festinger, arising out of a participant observation study of a cult which believed that the earth was going to be destroyed by a flood, and what happened to its members — particularly the really committed ones who had given up their homes and jobs to work for the cult — when the flood did not happen.
While fringe members were more inclined to recognize that they had made fools of themselves and to "put it down to experience", committed members were more likely to re-interpret the evidence to show that they were right all along (the earth was not destroyed because of the faithfulness of the cult members).
How Attitude Change Takes Place
According to cognitive dissonance theory, there is a tendency for individuals to seek consistency among their cognitions (i.e., beliefs, opinions). When there is an inconsistency between attitudes or behaviors (dissonance), something must change to eliminate the dissonance.Dissonance can be reduced in one of three ways:
First, individuals can change one or more of the attitudes, behavior, beliefs etc. so as to make the relationship between the two elements a consonant one. When one of the dissonant elements is a behavior, the individual can change or eliminate the behavior. However, this mode of dissonance reduction frequently presents problems for people, as it is often difficult for people to change well-learned behavioral responses (e.g. giving up smoking).
A second (cognitive) method of reducing dissonance is to acquire new information that outweighs the dissonant beliefs. For example, thinking smoking causes lung cancer will cause dissonance if a person smokes. However, new information such as “research has not proved definitely that smoking causes lung cancer” may reduce the dissonance.
A third way to reduce dissonance is to reduce the importance of the cognitions (i.e. beliefs, attitudes). A person could convince themself that it is better to "live for today" than to "save for tomorrow." In other words, he could tell himself that a short life filled with smoking and sensual pleasures is better than a long life devoid of such joys. In this way, he would be decreasing the importance of the dissonant cognition (smoking is bad of ones health).
-----------------------------------------------------------------
If these features below describe you,
you could well be 'John Ambiguo'! : )
- You have a great need for other people to like and admire you.
- You have a tendency to be critical of yourself.
- You have a great deal of unused capacity which you have not turned to your advantage.
- While you have some personality weaknesses, you are generally able to compensate for them.
- Your sexual adjustment has presented problems for you.
- Disciplined and self-controlled outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure inside.
- At times you have serious doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing.
- You prefer a certain amount of change and variety and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations.
- You pride yourself as an independent thinker and do not accept others' statements without satisfactory proof.
- You have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing yourself to others.
- At times you are extroverted, affable, sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary, reserved.
- Some of your aspirations tend to be pretty unrealistic.
- Security is one of your major goals in life.
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